Congress Fails at yet another Bi-Partisan Effort


The other day, a bipartisan effort failed when Democrats and Republicans attempted to play a game of baseball. The Democrats refused to start the game until the Republicans agreed to play by National-League rules.

Senator Chuck Schumer claimed, “The Designated Hitter is one of the saddest exemptions we have in today’s society. The Republicans claim that it raises the average run total per game, but it does not change the fact that injustices are riddled throughout their corrupt system.” Pelosi added,  “The Designated Hitter is allowed to hit, but does not have to play out in the field like everyone else! The system isn’t supposed to work that way. If you bat, you need to play the field! He shouldn’t get a break because he produces more runs, or totals more hits than everyone else. That line of thinking is ridiculous.”


The Republicans responded by saying that the Designated Hitter pays his dues already by batting, and shouldn’t be subject to unnecessary fielding requirements. Speaker Boehner exclaimed, “If we have a place for a designated hitter, he should have the right to choose whether he plays the field or not. We maximize our team, and the game overall by doing that.” Governor Romney concurred, “They say the DH needs to play out in the field if he’s going to bat? Adding a government mandate to that is not fair to the player. They’re just jealous of the Designated Hitter’s success.”

Ron Paul also mentioned that he is not playing either and claimed that both sides have it wrong.


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