The Ultimate Cure for the Workplace Blues

I know you’ve seen it. There’s the guy who walks around with his head held high, enjoying almost every second at the office. When he has lunch with the boss, he acts as if he just received an award from the UN Security Council (not sure how good that would actually feel). You also notice that his trips to the water cooler are quite eventful. He never comes back with a mere cup of water, he comes back with the organization’s secrets that determine the life and death of the very company you work for. Lastly, when he returns from a business meaning, it seems as if he diffused a bomb located two stories below your office that was somehow attached to ten American children trapped in a North Korean prison.  Every second is meaningful, every email drastic, and every interaction a top secret meeting.

I know that you want this optimistic outlook as well! And trust me, it is not from Oprah’s Seven Step Plan to happiness, it is from the ways of Double “O” Seven.

It is the Action Hero Lifestyle. Every day is a mission, each mission a day… that is… if you so choose to accept!

Action Hero Lifestyle Benefits (Potential Side effects in italics)

Renewed sense of heroic self worth

(appearance of an arrogant nature)  

Activities have a renewed sense of importance

(People will start claiming that you are getting in their way and avoid you)

Renewed confidence in secretive knowledge

(People may stop telling you important information)

Every female becomes a possible love interest

(Sexual harassment charges may be filed against you)

Cool looking buildings become Headquarters/Home Base

(Possible arrests for trespassing)

Renewed Sense of Verbal wit and skill when in confrontations

(Black Eye)

Confidence that everything will work out in your favor regardless of the odds

(Possible firing)

 

 

 

 

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About mkholmes25

Amateur theologian, musician, sports fan, etc. View all posts by mkholmes25

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